I took leave the past couple of days, because I felt breathless handling some of my clients and needed a break before I burnout. I had began dreaming weird dreams of them and even thought of them while I was on leave.. tsk tsk.. no good... I pride myself as someone who is able to draw boundaries quite well and manage a work-life balance. But sometimes, it's just hard to let go even for me, especially when we know how much my clients are going through.
I was especially bothered by this client who just found out that he was adopted, and began acting out in school. As usual, there were so many "what ifs" that I thought I could have done with the parents; to let them consider how and when better to break the news than the way they did. I felt I could have certainly done better, much better. And then I recalled that I am human after all. But have I done any harm to the child?
Yesterday during the symposium, it was presented that if we can't do good all the time, at least do no harm to our clients. I thought long and hard about it, and yeah, it made sense to me at that point in time. But now upon reflection, it is not such a simple thing after all. In this case, I dunno if I have done harm to the client=( Well, technically speaking, I did not cause a direct harm to him. Rather, it is precisely what I did not do that resulted in him having to go through the confusion, anger and sadness right now. Urgh.
Interestingly, I am feeling confused, angry and sad right now...
Z
“The light bulb doesn’t need changing, it’s the system that needs to change.”